What is a eulogy? And how to write a eulogy?

What is a eulogy?

A eulogy is shared at a loved one’s funeral, to commemorate their life by reflecting on stories and fond memories. This can be communicated by a celebrant, faith leader, friends or/and family.

Every eulogy is unique. Some may have funny stories, whereas others have an emotional sentiment – or even combine the two. It’s essentially a tribute to their life, and a piece on how they’d would’ve liked to be remembered. Although, you don’t need to tell their entire life story. Sometimes one or two memories can say more than a list of achievements ever could.

How to start a eulogy?

The best way to start a eulogy is to introduce yourself and explain your relationship to the person that has passed. There is no need to single out specific friends or family members, but you should extend your sympathies to friends and family within the room. After you’ve introduced yourself, you could refer to the first moment you met. Otherwise, starting with a quote or poem could set the tone and compliment your loved one’s life.

How long should a eulogy be?

As funerals usually take around 45 minutes, eulogies can be around 3 to 10 minutes – although they can be any length you wish, as eulogies can be conducted by one person or by a few. This could be dependent on the length of each eulogy and the wishes from the loved one or their friends and family. If you’re unsure about your loved one’s wishes, it’s best to speak to the funeral service directing the funeral, who can help with any questions you have. They’ll usually have information from any documents from your loved one.

How do you structure a eulogy?

1. Start with introducing yourself, whilst addressing friends and family members. 
2. Either start with a quote, poem or a memory that reflects your loved ones life. You can go through their life chronologically, choose one specific story to share, or express memories randomly. Usually if it’s a collection of memories, these are shared chronologically. 
3. Address any of their achievements, such as within their career or hobbies. You can also share the contributions they may have made to the community and how they helped uplift people’s lives around them. 
4. End the eulogy with a quote or poem that leaves an everlasting impression on those attending the funeral.

How to end a eulogy?

The ending of a eulogy should connect you to the individual being remembered during the service. Sometimes, if this is part of a religious or spiritual service, ending on a religious piece or quote is appropriate. On the other hand, if the funeral is not a religious or spiritual service, you may choose to end your speech with a poem or quote relevant to your loved one. Offer anything that provides comfort during this difficult time.

Leave the eulogy on an everlasting impression that evokes a gratefulness to be surrounded by loved ones at the service, creating a strong sense of togetherness. The ending of a eulogy should leave the audience something to carry home with them.

What should you not say in a eulogy?

• Anything about the cause of death.
• Any grudges or negative traits about the person.
• Sharing anything too private or that your loved one would not be happy with.
• Avoid a eulogy that does not feel personal enough. If struggling what to say, maybe ask other people or simply say a poem that related to your loved one.
• The tone of the eulogy should feel quite chatty and friendly. Use a welcoming tone, maybe with some funny moments. Remember, you’re celebrating a life.
• Don’t read the eulogy like a list. Make sure it flows from memory to memory.
• Although the eulogy will share stories and memories of your relationship with the individual that has passed, it’s important to remember to keep the eulogy focus stories around your loved one that everyone can relate to and admire.

If you’re unsure about anything within this article, or if you have any questions about writing a eulogy for your loved one, please don’t hesitate to contact Wm. Alty & Sons. We are always happy to answer your call, 24 hours a day, every day of the year.