How do I look after myself while grieving?
Grief is a natural response to loss and something that we all experience at some point in our lives. While everyone grieves differently, taking care of your emotional and physical wellbeing during this difficult time is important. In this article, we explore practical ways to look after yourself while grieving; where we offer guidance and support to help you navigate loss and cope with the challenges that bereavement can bring.
1. Meal Prep
Some people struggle to find the energy or motivation to cook – or even eat – whilst grieving. When you have the energy, do some meal prep. Otherwise, reach out to someone to help you. This way, you can make sure you have a warm meal every day.
2. Make time to leave the house
Go for a walk in nature. Treat yourself to a brownie at a cafe. Even 20 minutes a day out the house will improve your mood.
3. Allow yourself to talk
Some people may find it difficult knowing what to say during grief. We don’t want to say the wrong thing. Your friends, family or peers may also fear that bringing up death could upset you. Language, in terms of how we talk about death, is so unequipped. We use the past tense a lot, like “I loved them.” When in fact that love still resonates. It is important for you to take control of the conversation if you want to talk about your loved one. The world can feel its loneliness during this difficult time when we don’t speak about it – so reach out to others and talk. Talk about your loved one and celebrate their life.
4. Speak to a professional if you need to
There can be feelings of shame when you reach out to a professional, but they are here to help. Lots of people go through this. That’s why there are so many services available. You can choose what suits you. This could be: group support, therapy, or sending a text message to a grief charity. Please speak to a member of our friendly staff at Alty’s to see what service could help you after the day of the funeral.
5. Allow yourself to be happy
During the time of bereavement, we can feel like we have to be grieving all the time. You’re allowed to give yourself happy moments, even through this saddening period.
6. Prioritise self care by pampering yourself or doing a hobby
Take an extra long bath, trim your beard, go for a run, watch football with your friends (or on your own). Whatever makes you feel better about yourself, is personal to you. You’re guaranteed to get a moment of enjoyment. Sometimes making you feel better can be from the outside inwards.
7. Watch something wholesome and listen to music that means something to you
This can act like a comfort blanket. Something like Calendar Girls explores death and grief, but also shows some light moments during this difficult time.
8. Do something to tribute in memory of your loved one
You could plant a tree in a memorial forest, raise money for your loved one’s chosen charity, or ask their local park for a bench. There’s so many ideas to tribute your loved one in a way that’s unique to them.
9. Tell work or place of education about your bereavement
Ask for possible adjustments whilst you’re grieving and any support they may give to help you take the time you need. If you would like more information on this, see our article: What to expect going back to work after a bereavement?
10. Look after yourself during celebrations
Celebrations like birthdays and Christmases can be very upsetting without them. Start new traditions, alongside your old ones to keep them in memory. Try not to spend these moments alone. Look for local community spaces, like grief cafes, that could be here to support you.
11. Try to prioritise a regular sleeping pattern
Sleeping whilst grieving can go either way for different people. Some may sleep too little and others sleep too much. However, both can make you feel depleted and leave you unable to look after yourself whilst grieving.
There are lots of different ways to try to practice a good sleep routine, some of which may include: setting alarms and sticking to them, no screens 2 hours before bed, avoiding smoking and not drinking alcohol. To try to get ready for a good night’s sleep, you might have to try familiar or new tactics. These could include: reading a book or a magazine, meditation, journaling, listening to a relaxing podcast or an audiobook.
Final thoughts
One thing to take away from this is to make new memories without the fear of forgetting the old ones you have with your loved one. Be assured, it doesn’t make you a bad person to feel happy without them. Grief has no expiration date, so you can fall back into these feelings at any time. We hope that these simple suggestions can act as a reminder for self-care and make you feel better during such this time.
At The Alty Funeral Service, we are always here for support before, during and even after the funeral service has ended.
